Toward A More Queer South

Was the South ever Queer in the first place? For many of us, the answer is easily no. What is regionally and culturally known as the “South” is known as heteronormative, white, and Christian. It truly is “The Bible Belt.” Here in the South the LGBTQIA community has always been classified, as the other, the freak, and even the criminal. Even the last four years we have seen targeted legislation, signs, and protests against who we are, how we present, and our love. Any of us who are queer and live in this region are not novices to discrimination.

But I believe we are moving toward a more queer South.

The reason I believe that is to be Queer is to be outside all that is normal, all that is expected, forced or imposed upon us. To be ourselves asks, and forces the world and society to redefine its structures, and to reorient its boundaries. The South is a culture that imposes weekly church attendance, straight couples, and hospitality.

But this week I saw a glimpse of a more perfect south.

I spent my time this week among the small city of Asheville. This little city is pushing boundaries, and showing what the South can be. It is showing it can be a place of diversity, acceptance, and hospitality.

And we as the queer community are leading the charge. The queer community of Asheville has done a tremendous job of waging the social war. No longer as a trans woman was I made to feel like I needed to hide, that I could not hold hands with my wife, or even get a couple’s tattoo. Restaurants proudly displayed mermaids on bathroom doors, unicorns, trans flags, and signs that said “You are safe” and “We welcome ALL.” I was also excited to see the HRC signs, “Y’all Means ALL” and other signs that said “Just wash your hands.”

This week alone I was welcomed into a tattoo shop, recognized with the correct pronouns, and congratulated on my marriage. So check out Sacred Lotus, and Kimi Leger.

I even boldly decided to go to a spa, and we welcomed, granted a chance to be proud of my body, and given delicate care. A cisgender woman smiled when meeting me, and continued to ask if there was anything else she could do to make me feel comfortable.

I even found an anarchist, cooperative book store that had books dedicate to what it means to be a trans person in a relationship, the history of the transgender movement, queer theology, transgender sexual workbooks, memoirs, graphic novels, and more.

What Asheville declared was the NORMAL is a LIE. None of us are the same, and none of us need to be. The cultural myth of straight, white, Christian is just that a myth. The world, science, history and culture have always had us among them. Here in Asheville, our reality was and is given space, welcomed and affirmed. What this has created is a city where people mix. Where children will grow up understanding the diversity of their world, and welcoming it with wide eyes, and open hearts. This next generation will not be alarmed to meet a trans woman, or to see a gay interracial couple. Asheville has taken the idea of “southern hospitality” and truly lived it out. Asheville welcomes all. And it is a formula the rest of us in the South can follow.

Continuing to live boldly we declare and reclaim our space within a society and people. When we unashamedly walk out in public and refuse to let someone discriminate against us, we show we are here and here to stay. When we embrace our love stories, and boldly show public display’s of affection we show people what love looks like in person.

Our Queer Community has always been dedicated to resistance, and change. I am thankful to see what we have been able to do in the mountains of North Carolina. I see it becoming reality in Durham, and know that we can continue to push forward. Standing firm in our identity we demand change. To be queer is to demand restoration. To be queer is to stand together against the structures of oppression, and destroy the systems of discrimination and domination.

I believe in us, I believe in you. Just because we live in the South we do not have to hide. We are the next generation, and by our determination and unity we will see a queerer and kinder South. One where we are known for our hospitality, and that hospitality is always for all.